Thought for late ...

EVERYONE needs to read these. I'll follow up with my experience and would love to hear yours. 6. Medtronic: I went to this great conference they actually paid the entire LBC (now known as the Wells Fargo Center) for the entire company to go to and said "Yeah, we're doing awesome." I was laid off two days later. 5. This one I learned from my mom Marie Taylor; don't panic if one or two people leave at the same time, but if one, two, three people leave from Management ... uh, start questioning. This is a case-by-case basis after all. IF your boss bails, then your boss' boss ... self explanatory? 4 Um, my current company has justified a new title for some positions ... well, while that doesn't affect me directly with my title, I know those people haven't changed positions and aren't getting paid more, it lets me know ... the work load on them has become larger. And that means, yup, responses to my position and what I need done by corp. take longer ... who knows how good our management is ... 3. Oh boy, this pains me ... one of my best girlfriends and I worked at the same place, I was hired after her. She later told me after I left, they offered her things as a bonus (gym membership, etc) that two years later they now just offer everyone for working there. Don't know how to explain this fully, but this company scammed us both. And after realizing they scammed so many employees that ended up leaving, what choice do they now have to offer a ton of anything to make people stay. Uh, still a crappy company, no matter what the benefits. And no, not many people stay there, but they keep the same clients so unwittingly. So do you actually read about the companies you buy things from? Do you really know what it means when your neighbor says "I'm not buying from Walmart anymore, I don't like all America's money going to China!" or "What's the harm in PVC?" Sorry second question my person pet peeve. 2. Okay, no experience with this ... others share? Maybe I'm just oblivious! I love everyone! Yeah, even that guy who seems, hmmm, like he doesn't belong 1. Ah and then the good ol' revamp. This has never meant sudden death in my career, but then again, I'm an optimist. Ha, ha, I worked for the government for some time and research always got bailed out! Oh my, how I'm angry about it now. What do you mean we'll lose all our research money next year if we don't spend our 100,000 this year? Anyone watch 13 going on 30? Blind optimism DOES always win. Simply because in the face of sadness, a happy person always brings sunshine into the room. I love living in my own bubble!

Link to my blog ... http://marlenetaylor.blogspot.com/

Shit Storm

I'm not doing so well at the moment.

I can't really put my finger on it, but when it rains it pours right?

I'm not sure where to start it all. But I have a constant thread running through my mind in the second and third person narrating my own story. I know I need to write it all down, whether to be an interesting read in my Alzheimer old age or just as a love story of life to my Adam down the road.

Every day we say to each other things like "We're doing it [living our dreams]" or "...for the rest of your life" as in the reminder that we may annoy the absolute crap out of each other but it's forever as far as either of us is concerned. That is the sunshine of my day.

But coupled with days of free moments studying and still not feeling confident of "chalking it all up to this one defining test of the rest of my freaking life" - that is my looming final - where my life (my grade is hanging right on the needed "C") seems to hang in the balance ... in despite of it all, that I really know I have no test taking skills. Oh God, I moan, and my final is from the American Chemistry Society's assessment of the first year of Organic Chemistry. Should be easy right?

Most people would say yes, because well, it's multiple choice. I hate multiple choice. Let me put it this way, I narrow it down to the 2 closest correct answers, where 1 of them is correct. 50% of THAT time I pick the wrong one. And to reiterate this as proof, last year I scored exactly 50% on my final in this same freaking class! And I know this subject!

Last year a family member died, I didn't have a job, and I got a nasty high ankle sprain. Let me say so nasty the doctors winced, every doctor and I saw quite a few them paying cash out of pocket with no insurance, just to find out I have high blood pressure and have to pay even more! I couldn't START walking until the end of July and it happened at the beginning of April.

This year I'm dealing with an almost too demanding job (trust me I'm making dumb mistakes that are fairly critical and ask "oh where did my brain go?"), a friend that is dealing with divorce, a friend dealing with suicide, sheep that are running rampant (this isn't as funny as it sounds ... they are only 7 weeks old and I worry about their welfare of a real possibility of getting killed by a dog) that we can't find not to mention spent hundreds of dollars on. I also got my financial records nearly seized, lost my online identity, and well more I shouldn't discuss because that's even more private to others. Not to mention the computer that got a nasty virus and shut down before my last exam with oh, 40% of the info I needed to review.

And get this, all that happened in the last two weeks.

When I'm telling my professor as each thing happens, he lends with a sympathetic ear "Wow, it really does seem like I would feel like all the forces would be against you passing organic chemistry once and for all."

The thing, I've spent over 80,000 dollars (a low ball estimate) of my parents and mostly my money (still have 18k loans) trying to get this degree; and this is the last class I need.

I could have backed out with a BA instead of BS years and years ago, and forwent all the frustration and extra thousands and thousands of dollars. But you know what, my brain made me think I would have been a quitter. I mean, I already changed from the program I initially started in school. No matter that it was the program I switched TO that I thought I was initially enrolled in.

What the hell am I supposed to do with my life? I have a job unrelated to my degree, a degree I'm about to finish and probably not use, dreams of businesses I want to start with no equity, and again, SHEEP we can't find!

My boss tells me to ease up on myself because I've only been in her office for about 6 months and that well, it DID take almost 5 years for her last master processor to get the job down; but somehow I just feel like I'm slacking.

Another day ... Another God?

Dispelling deity dirt and other illusions. - Todd Springfield

From bondage to repriev-al ... how atheism can set you free. - Todd Springfield

I just wonder as I sit in my corner of the world, in my room, in the house, at the computer ... in my little space of my wandering brain ... how many people out there are thinking in logic. With reason? With their heart? We are all one people no matter what we choose to believe ... higher power, God, or no. We all have a link with humanity. Then why is it suddenly I feel a decisive line?

And I derive this in my head with that of my very close friend, my mother. Somewhere along the line she switched from atheist ... well, perhaps an agnostic despite what she said aloud ... to religious. And now we have a riff leaving us at odds of not understanding one another.

Suddenly proclaiming atheism makes me feel like I am walking on some sort of egg shells. It just leaves me feeling I need to do more. Show more biology, more science ... not leave this big word science as a big scary one.

I got here inch my inch, year by year in school, against all odds. Against what everyone else told me I am natural at. I feel balanced. I feel like I wouldn't be who I am without the education I've gotten. I won't let anyone take this away from me. I won't regress.

And all that is obvious and well, easy.

So why do I feel like I need to educate the world ... so soon and immediately. I once felt this as a very liberal campus student that spoke against the evils of big business like McDonalds cutting down rainforest for cows, and the deep feeling of needing to understand everyone. But this is different.

I see us far into the future traveling the space and time continuum. I see religion fervor working with scientific logic. I see the world progressing. The world being free of so much disease, natural born conditions, cancer, and even everyone knowing and taking for granted music. I consider music part of the connection of the humanity pheromone communication connection.

But more than ever, I just feel really bad that my mother was insulted and feel guilty for any of the other Christians I may have offended after the phone call of my mother and the posting here on facebook.

I genuinely want the world to open up ... there is so much math, logic, decisive action that needs to happen.

A pet peeve of mine as a "scientist" is that serious over play of something has to happen in order for the layman communities of the world to see. Take anti-bacterial for instance ... freakin' soap with lye works just fine to kill all bacteria and such. Bleach will kill a further level, for longer effect. Anti-bacterial just makes the world full of resistant strains. Things are going overboard since the 1990s for anti-bacterial products (not to mention wasteful additions that make it easier to clean up), which are just producing the opposite effect. The companies that sell these products realized they could make a profit by scaring the public into "cleanliness". What they didn't disclose is that high acidity works for many things like cleaning around the home. Try things laced with lemon juice. It works great.

I could list a hundred other things like this. I tell everyone I meet "Just buy a bar of soap. Don't get the anti-bacterial stuff. It contributes to us having strains of bacteria that leave us with no defense."

In the 1930s or so there were 10s of bacteria that we have no defense to. Now there are 100s, if not up in the 1000s now.

When I say "no defense" I mean if you get this bacterial infection your doctor is going to make you as comfortable as possible and let you know "there is no cure, no way to combat it". We make anti-bacterial things out of fungal or mushroom derivatives. Consider it our cheating way to use the fungus defenses against the bacteria to help humans. As scientists out there try to mimic design of fungal defenses we're just not doing it as fast as nature would. There is this natural arms race between fungus and bacteria, with fungus being much more evolved. So we realized as humans, "Hey these spore mushroom guys are really good at beating these other guys that are really annoying and hurtful to us. I know! Let's use them!"

I digress, as one of my many ramblings. I just want the world to know so much.

Another thing blown out of control. Global Warming. Another day.

So as for the title. Another day, another God? The God Complex is so full, delusional, and encompassing it is too much for me to stand to have any response to "He is there. He is with you." as any true factual proof. What scientific proof can walk against something which can not be argued against?

September Quick Update

School has started and lots of studying has commenced.

Trying to get a job: laboratory, winery, administrative, or accounting.

Classes I'm taking: organic chemistry and bookkeeping.

Leaving my schedule open for a job ... which seems to keep eluding me.

Remaking my resume today, perhaps that will help.

Got a call from my college today (the one I'm getting the degree from, not the junior college I

am attending) ... they wanted to know if I passed the chemistry class last year. Nope ... blamed it on a death in the family and an excruciatingly painful high ankle sprain. I'm still feeling the effects of both.

Discovered what to do with all of our peppers in the garden ... the grill! Last year we pickled lots of them which I want to do this year as we ate all of those from last year. We love giardiniera (italian pickled veggies) and chilies en escabeche (mexican pickled veggies). Giardiniera is composed of a hoj poj of veggies with shallots, onions, zucchini, blends of peppers, little tomatoes, carrots, and cauliflower ... pickled with just the right amount of spice. The chilies done Mexican style are the spicy peppers with

shallots and onion with 2 types of vinegar and olive oil. Some people tell me the olive oil is the key.

The poppers made from garden fatter peppers (like jalapeno and lipstick) are flying right into everyone's mouths. We just can't seem to make enough! The last two time we stuffed them we made them with cream cheese, cheddar cheese, proscuitto, and onion bits. Mmmm, this sounds so good I'm ready to make another batch right now! I bought the pepper roaster from Sur La Table as really it has a neat tool for coring the peppers. Ben said it took a little while to get used to making them and in this attached picture he proudly shows them off! We put foil in the rack to coat the holes and make the holes custom sized for each pepper as we were doing a smaller batch than the roaster normally fitted.

I was highly irritated waking up this morning when my Wii decided to not sync or communicate with all my remotes randomly. Is this normal?

At any rate I had to go through the minorly frustrating task of re-syncing them.

I'm in love with playing Twilight Princess, the newish Zelda, however after playing all these other games that have implemented more interaction for the RPGs this one does seem quite lacking. I just keep reminding myself that it was designed in Japan probably over some years starting with an older engine.

Adam and I were in escrow on a house but backed out when we found out the septic, leach lines, and well all had issues and to top it off there was an encroachment. Yikes! An additional 60k would have been needed to fix it all ... too much of a headache with the bank not working with us. You'd think the banks would want to get these properties off their hands! But no, still profit hungry. It would have closed yesterday, sigh. When we will find a house?

Oh well, I don't have a job to help support it so it's probably all for the best.

I'm taking Lotensin for my blood pressure which now in the fourth month seems to work well. It's a beta-blocker which turns a hydroxyl group into a ketone in the liver. I've been meaning to pick up some milk thistle, which is an herbal supplement to clean the liver. I'm also under the impression that drinking water with a slice of lemon in it does the same thing, although I'm not sure how absolutely true that is.

According to a website lemon does the following:

• Lemons are antiseptic
• Lemon water has excellent digestive properties and can ease heartburn, bloating and other digestion problems
• Lemon water cleanses and stimulates the liver and kidneys
• Lemon juice contains calcium, magnesium and potassium
• Lemon juice has been known to relieve asthma
• Lemon water (hot) offers relief from cold and flu symptoms while providing some much needed Vitamin C
• Lemon juice is a great skin cleanser

All I know for sure is that when it's close to the time I need to take my blood pressure medication I get vertigo, it starts on slowly and lightly, but as the time passes by even 15 minutes it gets stronger and stronger, where it's almost made me fall down.

I'm loosely using the Wii active and admittedly not as much as I should. There's something about getting all sweaty and bopping around with a sports bra (or without if it's really hot!) living in a house with 4 other men. It's not to say I'm embarrassed but if any of them are home for long periods of time I avoid the workout in the living room. Maybe I'm not an exhibitionist?

Anyhoo, back to the job hunt. I have some pretty promising things out there with the lower pay so perhaps I can stand a chance! All my skills and I'm back to entry level work again ... oh well, gotta start somewhere in our crappy economy.

Mmmm, more peppers are calling my name. I just hope we have more cheese? This is not good for the diet is it? Well, not if I'm balancing the diet with lots of veggies! And boy is the garden exploding.