Thought for late ...

EVERYONE needs to read these. I'll follow up with my experience and would love to hear yours. 6. Medtronic: I went to this great conference they actually paid the entire LBC (now known as the Wells Fargo Center) for the entire company to go to and said "Yeah, we're doing awesome." I was laid off two days later. 5. This one I learned from my mom Marie Taylor; don't panic if one or two people leave at the same time, but if one, two, three people leave from Management ... uh, start questioning. This is a case-by-case basis after all. IF your boss bails, then your boss' boss ... self explanatory? 4 Um, my current company has justified a new title for some positions ... well, while that doesn't affect me directly with my title, I know those people haven't changed positions and aren't getting paid more, it lets me know ... the work load on them has become larger. And that means, yup, responses to my position and what I need done by corp. take longer ... who knows how good our management is ... 3. Oh boy, this pains me ... one of my best girlfriends and I worked at the same place, I was hired after her. She later told me after I left, they offered her things as a bonus (gym membership, etc) that two years later they now just offer everyone for working there. Don't know how to explain this fully, but this company scammed us both. And after realizing they scammed so many employees that ended up leaving, what choice do they now have to offer a ton of anything to make people stay. Uh, still a crappy company, no matter what the benefits. And no, not many people stay there, but they keep the same clients so unwittingly. So do you actually read about the companies you buy things from? Do you really know what it means when your neighbor says "I'm not buying from Walmart anymore, I don't like all America's money going to China!" or "What's the harm in PVC?" Sorry second question my person pet peeve. 2. Okay, no experience with this ... others share? Maybe I'm just oblivious! I love everyone! Yeah, even that guy who seems, hmmm, like he doesn't belong 1. Ah and then the good ol' revamp. This has never meant sudden death in my career, but then again, I'm an optimist. Ha, ha, I worked for the government for some time and research always got bailed out! Oh my, how I'm angry about it now. What do you mean we'll lose all our research money next year if we don't spend our 100,000 this year? Anyone watch 13 going on 30? Blind optimism DOES always win. Simply because in the face of sadness, a happy person always brings sunshine into the room. I love living in my own bubble!

Link to my blog ... http://marlenetaylor.blogspot.com/

Shit Storm

I'm not doing so well at the moment.

I can't really put my finger on it, but when it rains it pours right?

I'm not sure where to start it all. But I have a constant thread running through my mind in the second and third person narrating my own story. I know I need to write it all down, whether to be an interesting read in my Alzheimer old age or just as a love story of life to my Adam down the road.

Every day we say to each other things like "We're doing it [living our dreams]" or "...for the rest of your life" as in the reminder that we may annoy the absolute crap out of each other but it's forever as far as either of us is concerned. That is the sunshine of my day.

But coupled with days of free moments studying and still not feeling confident of "chalking it all up to this one defining test of the rest of my freaking life" - that is my looming final - where my life (my grade is hanging right on the needed "C") seems to hang in the balance ... in despite of it all, that I really know I have no test taking skills. Oh God, I moan, and my final is from the American Chemistry Society's assessment of the first year of Organic Chemistry. Should be easy right?

Most people would say yes, because well, it's multiple choice. I hate multiple choice. Let me put it this way, I narrow it down to the 2 closest correct answers, where 1 of them is correct. 50% of THAT time I pick the wrong one. And to reiterate this as proof, last year I scored exactly 50% on my final in this same freaking class! And I know this subject!

Last year a family member died, I didn't have a job, and I got a nasty high ankle sprain. Let me say so nasty the doctors winced, every doctor and I saw quite a few them paying cash out of pocket with no insurance, just to find out I have high blood pressure and have to pay even more! I couldn't START walking until the end of July and it happened at the beginning of April.

This year I'm dealing with an almost too demanding job (trust me I'm making dumb mistakes that are fairly critical and ask "oh where did my brain go?"), a friend that is dealing with divorce, a friend dealing with suicide, sheep that are running rampant (this isn't as funny as it sounds ... they are only 7 weeks old and I worry about their welfare of a real possibility of getting killed by a dog) that we can't find not to mention spent hundreds of dollars on. I also got my financial records nearly seized, lost my online identity, and well more I shouldn't discuss because that's even more private to others. Not to mention the computer that got a nasty virus and shut down before my last exam with oh, 40% of the info I needed to review.

And get this, all that happened in the last two weeks.

When I'm telling my professor as each thing happens, he lends with a sympathetic ear "Wow, it really does seem like I would feel like all the forces would be against you passing organic chemistry once and for all."

The thing, I've spent over 80,000 dollars (a low ball estimate) of my parents and mostly my money (still have 18k loans) trying to get this degree; and this is the last class I need.

I could have backed out with a BA instead of BS years and years ago, and forwent all the frustration and extra thousands and thousands of dollars. But you know what, my brain made me think I would have been a quitter. I mean, I already changed from the program I initially started in school. No matter that it was the program I switched TO that I thought I was initially enrolled in.

What the hell am I supposed to do with my life? I have a job unrelated to my degree, a degree I'm about to finish and probably not use, dreams of businesses I want to start with no equity, and again, SHEEP we can't find!

My boss tells me to ease up on myself because I've only been in her office for about 6 months and that well, it DID take almost 5 years for her last master processor to get the job down; but somehow I just feel like I'm slacking.